Finding Friendship in the Midst of Motherhood

I became a mother right on the heels of graduating college. On the day of commencement, I sat with my friends on the hot rubber of an outdoor field (six months pregnant) and I waited. I waited for one season to end and another to begin. The gentle kicks I felt during the ceremony were like steady little reminders that my life was about to change in a big way. And I couldn’t wait.

I channeled my excitement into learning everything I could about birth and motherhood. I read books, blogs, articles and whatever else I could find. If nothing else, at least I would be prepared. But the thing is, not one of those things prepared me for what I would struggle with the most, loneliness. We lived in a small apartment far away from family and most of our friends. Also, we shared one car, which my husband usually took to get to school. As wonderful and exciting as motherhood was, for me it was also quiet and at times, isolating. I had a fierce desire to connect with other moms and to find sisters whom I could walk alongside with. Loneliness was the last thing I expected to encounter as a new mother. Who would? Because as a mother, you’re never truly alone, but you can still feel lonely.

I should have prayed sooner. I should have done a lot of things differently. In the end, it was my sweet husband who prayed for me and I’m so thankful he did because, at the time, I couldn’t seem to muster much faith for this particular prayer. You know that feeling when you have a prayer request that’s so big and so close to your heart that it almost feels too big for God? It feels funny to even say because of course nothing is too big for God, but at the time, that is just how my heart felt. He took my hand and we prayed that God would provide what was missing, that he would make a way where there was none and that he would strengthen our faith while we waited. Very specifically, we prayed for friends.

You guys, as soon as we prayed, God began to intervene. The first thing he changed was my heart. I could feel him with me in those quiet times and suddenly I didn’t feel lonely anymore. Then, our circumstances began to change. God led us to buy a home in a friendly neighborhood with lots of kids and moms. In a city not well known for its friendliness, it was obvious that God’s hand was in the matter. I also began to meet Christian moms whom I felt I could connect with in random places like playgrounds and at the gym. I had been going to these places for over a year and had never made a single connection! Things start to happen so quickly when Jesus answers prayer, don’t they?

The first summer in our new home, I felt like I could finally breathe. God knew precisely what my heart needed and I knew that I was just where I belonged. I am so incredibly thankful for the momma friends I have now. They’re the ones I call for help, whether I need a jump for a dead car battery or just a friend to talk to. We laugh, we cry, mostly cry, and sometimes we just stare in bewilderment at each other while our kids are acting crazy! And coffee. Lots of coffee.

Not everyone’s story is the same, but if you resonate with mine and you’re struggling to find friendships and community, I would love to pray with you! That longing in your heart? It’s there for a reason, and I believe it’s because God put it there. He knows our hearts, and there’s no pain or loneliness we could ever know that he doesn’t understand intimately. All we have to do is call on Jesus.“And all things whatsoever ye ask in prayer believing, ye shall receive.” Matthew 21:22  I’ll be right here believing with you.

With Love,

Tara

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The Best is Yet to Come

Yesterday, my sweet husband and I celebrated our 8th anniversary. To celebrate, we went to a scenic winery overlooking the pale blue waters of Lake Chelan. A gentle breeze lilted among an array of beautifully dressed diners who collectively seemed to be enjoying a pleasant evening together. I looked into my husband’s eyes, so familiar and warm. Love overwhelmed my heart as I reflected on the years we’ve spent together, the trials we’ve faced, tears cried, shared joys, and triumphs. In the early years, there were days when I thought marriage was too hard, that perhaps our happily ever after would never come. But, he fought for me. That man of mine fought like there was no tomorrow.And I’m so glad he did. I’m so blessed that he didn’t give up. We fought together. And little by little, prayer brought victory, renewal, and hope. Jesus restored us both as individuals and brought us closer together than we ever thought possible. On our wedding day, I thought I could never love him more than I did then. I was wrong. Eight years of growing together have cultivated a love that is richer and deeper than words can describe.

As our date neared its end, I folded my cream-colored napkin and placed it near my plate of half-eaten butterscotch pudding. “Things just keep getting better don’t they,” he smiled. Yes they do, they really do.

How Prayer Saved my Life

We left the posh, urban, Portland restaurant where we had spent a few hours giggling and sampling elegant desserts in a tizzy of excitement. We laughingly traversed potholes in patent leather heels and dressy wedges to the safety of our cars. A gaggle of girls celebrating the impending marriage of one of our own. The excitement was palpable. We each delicately piled into one of two cars, taking care not to catch a heel or tear a garment. Earrings glittered, a variety of fragrances perfumed the air. Life was happening, and we relished every bit of it.

I found myself in a car with one of my former high-school friends and a gal I had only just met though she was one of those people whom you meet and feel you have known a lifetime. We would follow the car ahead of us back to the hotel where we were staying the night, and where some of our husbands anxiously awaited our return. We got along famously. The energy of the night bubbled all around us and we conversed in like manner. Our excitement quickly turned to concern when the car we were following zipped out of sight and we missed the exit we were supposed to take. One of the gals nervously called a friend in the other car to retrieve instructions. But the night was dark and we felt we were in a maze in the midst of Portland’s highway hell. “Should I turn here?” Jessica asked. No, I think we should go left, I answered. Truthfully, I had no idea. It was just a gut feeling. Suddenly, the car started to slow down until it eased to a full stop. We were on the most right-hand side of the highway, but there was no shoulder to pull onto. I looked behind me. We were just ahead of a curve in the road, so oncoming drivers did not see us until they were right behind us. I heard a stream of honks as a parade of cars narrowly missed us by as little as ten feet.

One of the girls started crying as the onslaught of potential collisions streamed ever faster. It seemed increasingly inevitable that we would become victims in a fatal way. And so, we prayed. The Lord gave me boldness and faith in that prayer I never knew I had. God, it is not your will for us to die tonight. Give us wisdom to know what to do and keep us safe in the midst of this impossible situation. Protect us from all impending harm and we will put our trust in you. Amen. After I said amen, God gave me clear instructions on what to do. First we called 911 who sent an officer to find us. Then, in the blackness of the night, I spied a patch of land we could safely escape to past the guardrail. Amazingly, we had stopped in the only place with such an area available. For miles ahead and behind us, that side of the highway was nestled directly next to overhanging rock cliffs, which due to their flatness would have been impossible to scale. We scrambled out of the car and hopped over the guard rail. Initially, we stood just a few feet away from the car, but I knew that we needed to get as far away from the car as possible in case of flying debris. So, we moved away as far as we could and waited. An officer came about 30 minutes afterward. 30 minutes. It took him a while to find us because we didn’t know where we were, so we could not give clear directions to the dispatcher. In that time, we saw countless cars come within feet of hitting our car. It seemed impossible that none of them did. But that’s what God does, the impossible. Not only did he save our lives that night, but he kept the car safe as well. He took care of our every need.

Two and a half hours later, the tow truck came. We piled in and huddled together, grateful for the warmth of the cab. Three hours after the ordeal had begun, we met the rest of our party at the hotel and finished celebrating. A feeling of awe swept over me. Here we were, safe and whole, celebrating a wedding when things could have been very different. I can think of one word to describe what had happened. It was a miracle. 

God saved my life that night. And he continues to answer my prayers and do the impossible. I would be honored if you would share a testimony of how God has answered one of your prayers! Let’s grow in faith together. ” Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” Proverbs 27:17

Thanks for reading!

Tara